taking control ... again.

it has been about a month since i posted an update on my weight loss journey.  since then really, NOTHING HAS CHANGED.  i'm still bouncing around the same couple of pounds.  my weight chart at weight watchers has barely moved in the past couple months.  i know what the problem is but i am not fixing it.  i'm so mad because i know that i'm the one in control.  or maybe i'm mad because i know i'm not taking control.  oh wait.  actually, i've lost control.

that's why i'm writing.  i have always said that sharing helps keep me accountable.  i was sharing the entire first six months of my journey ... but it was easy.  i was losing.  i was doing good.  i wasn't having too many low points.  it is easy to share when all the progress is good.  now, i haven't had any progress ... and i haven't really 'gained' weight, i just keep battling the same few pounds each week.  i am really getting sick of telling myself 'i'll get back on track next monday (weigh in day)' ... only to say it again the next week.

i'm really down on myself today.  i was at my all-time low again this week, but after taking a detour filled with peanut butter cups, peanut butter cookies (SCREW PEANUT BUTTER), and other equally as craptastic food ... i'm up again and not happy with myself.  months ago, it would have been easy to turn those things down.  what happened to me?  maybe this is normal?  i'm sure a million people struggle with this same thing when trying to lose weight.  however, i don't want to be one of those million that also gain it right back.  no, i want to lose this weight FOREVER.  i guess the silver lining is that i have been able to maintain my weight.  i'm not happy though because i still have weight to lose.

i am in a new challenge that should be helping me stay motivated.  really though, i need to set some goals and share them in order to help me stay accountable.  so, here we go.

goals for the next two months (baby steps people):

• track every day of every week.  i use weight watchers online to track everything i put in my mouth.  when i track, i lose.  when i don't track, i don't do anything.  must track!
• exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes three times a week.  i used to walk during my breaks at work.  i stopped doing this.  i need to start doing that and also i hope to add something in that i can do at home or with friends in the evenings.
• drink more water.  i have been drinking WAY too much DIET COKE.  
• print out inspiration and put it on my cupboard doors and something on the fridge as well.  i need a visual reminder when i'm about to go put something in my mouth.

okay, so that might not seem like much, but i've been failing on all of the above.  and also, i do have all of you.  so many of my friends and family, blog readers and facebook friends have been cheering me on this year.  it has boosted my confidence.  i feel like i am finally able to achieve my goal of being at a healthier weight.  i am so grateful for every compliment, message, email, comment or post that has been given to me as support.  you guys are all the bomb.

i have to remember that reaching my ultimate goal will not happen overnight.  it will not happen without hitting some speed bumps or detours.  but it will happen.  it's better to arrive late then not at all, right?  :)

Comments

[Amber Keathley]

I'm right there with you, in fact your honesty motivates me not to kid myself. Tomorrow or next week is NOT good enough. I think I will be brave enough to post before pics only after I lost that initial weight...it's hard once you plateau. (I know, I've gained/lost back and forth in the past)

[Mary]

Jenny, you have so much to be proud of! I give you so much credit for being patient with your weight loss. You will be healthier in the long run for doing it slowly. And if you've been able to stray from the course for a bit and still stay within reasonable points, then you are doing something right! Keep up the good work :)

[Dana]

Your baby step goals are perfect and "they" always say the key to success is logging what you eat. You know what you need to do, it's just hard to do it. You've come this far and I know you can keep up with this! You can do this! AND don't punish yourself for some peanut butter....just get back on it tomorrow!

[Kaitlyn]

I will jump in this with you girl, maybe we can keep each other motivated! I neeeeeed to exercise more! Which i'm going to go do right now!! In our sea of love

[Jenny's mom, Tucker & Levi's gram]

Nice post honey, yes I am so proud of you and give you so much credit for loosing the weight you have lost(so far) and doing it the RIGHT way without a bunch of diet pills and all those other bad ways to loose weight. I know as your mom that you are strong willed and your capabilities are endless. Like you said there will be bumps along the way, nobody is perfect. You are now on your road to recovering the bumps once again and getting ready for a SMOOTH ride. Keep up the GREAT work honey, you look GREAT!!! I love you very much Daughter, and I so enjoy to see you HAPPY! Love you more, mom

[Stacy]

SO right Jenny! You keep on Rockin! It is Hard to get in the frame of mind and get yourself motivated, but don't feel down on yourself, LOOK HOW FAR YOU'VE COME! YOU CAN SO DO THIS! You LOOK GREAT! Good Luck on your next leg of the journey! (I was reading Harper a Train book last night and this came to mind)....Yes I can, yes I can, yes I can.. Super Cheesey I know, but still it's a frame of mind and it helps.. Congrats on how far you've come, now go the distance!