today, i'm going to discuss the wonderful subject of potty training. warning: longest post ever about potty training! but really, this is something i think about quite a bit. man, i even talked about it here, and tucker wasn't even two yet (and obviously we didn't get things going after the new year)! i think i think about this too much. oh well, here we go.
here are my thoughts on potty training my kid: tucker is almost 27 months old. i work out of the home fulltime and i certainly don't expect our nanny to have to be the one to train him. i know it is going to take work on both our parts, but i'm at the point where i think he needs to be ready. i'm not sure he is at that point yet.
we have both a small potty chair, and a potty chair insert for our 'big' toilet. he sits on his small potty chair when we are in the bathroom. there have been a few times when he has asked to sit on the big potty, but he just sits there. he's never went to the bathroom when he's been on it. the other day, i seen him grunting and i rushed him into the bathroom hoping to make it in time. i took off his diaper and there was a little turd. i hoped he would have 'finished' on the potty, but no such luck. he just wanted to get down.
last week when my mom was here watching him, she put underwear on him in the morning. she would take him in to sit on the potty, but that's all he'd do. sit there. he did pee in his pants and he didn't even seem to care. if he was ready, shouldn't that bother him to be wet? maybe, maybe not.
i know he sometimes will tell us when he has a dirty diaper, other times he won't. when he goes poop in his diaper he wants to 'flush it in da toylit'. i think he's actually only watched himself pee once - when he stood up in the tub and let 'er fly. does any of this matter? i don't know.
at his last doctor's appointment, his doctor said there were three things that you should not push (sleeping, eating, and potty training). she said, they will eat enough and when they are hungry so don't worry about them starving. she said that sleeping issues work themselves out (i didn't get into this with her at all, but she said it and well, i know they will). then, she told me that when her son was little, he did not want to be trained. she said that he was about to start preschool and they wouldn't take him if he wasn't potty trained. she told her son that if he didn't learn to go potty where he should, that he couldn't go to preschool and she said in a week, he was trained. it was time and he had a motivator. she told me that a lot of people thought that since she was a doctor it was horrible that she had not potty trained her son yet. she told me that you cannot and should not push them if they are not ready. okay, maybe that's not word for word what she said, but close. so am i wrong in waiting until i think tucker is ready? we talk about going to potty on the big potty nearly every time i change him. i will ask him if he wants to go sit on the toilet and if he does, we go sit on it. i try to encourage him to do his business, but if he wants to get off, then we're done. i don't make him sit there or go back if he doesn't want to. maybe i should be pushing him?
i know that my mom has said that both my brother and i were trained at tucker's age, but she was home with us! i think it makes a difference. i don't expect that ashley is going to have to potty train my kid. sure, she'll be a big part of things, but i think i should take a few days to really get things going. i'm sure i could get lots of thoughts on this from just the mom's in my life, but i know what they are already. they've told me. sometimes i feel like a failure because he's not trained yet. do any of you feel that way? is there a magic age that it should happen by? i'm fairly positive that tucker will be trained (or mostly trained) by the time he is 3 (9 months away). i don't know a lot of other little boys his age so i have nobody to compare him to, you know? girls are said to train faster anyways so i can't really use that as a gauge can i? eh.
i know that if my dad is reading this right now, he would ask me, 'why are you worrying about this?' because he says that about all my 'mom concern posts'. :)
so, i would love to hear about your experiences with potty training. if you have toddlers, are they trained or no? how did you do it? when do you plan to train them if they haven't been trained yet? is this something that is a big concern for you? do you think that kids need to be pushed or do you think they need to be 'ready'? this week we made the decision that the bink is gone for good. so, is this the direction i should take with potty training or do you have to follow your kids que? why can't there be a switch underneath the left armpit or something that you can finally turn off at age 2 and the diapers go away forever? aahhhh, dreams.
seriously, sorry about the longest post ever, but this is something that is always on my mind! i'm thanking you in advance for your comments! after you leave me a comment, go visit all the other tft bloggers today: nicole, jessica, denise, kim, dana, and kristi.
I think we've finally mastered potty training with Lukas! I'll be updating about that in the next couple days!! I'm soo excited!
Posted by: LeeAnn Howard | 2008.06.28 at 01:19
Ah, yes, potty training.
I have a 23 month old and am on the fence about whether "we" are ready.
My older daughter potty trained at over 3 years old. The nice thing about that is that it happened over a weekend, barely any accidents, and she could pretty much do the whole thing on her own.
My problem w/ training a 2-year-old is that Mom is still doing most of the work. In many ways I think changing a diaper is easier in that regard.
Back to how my then 3-year-old was trained. My husband and I were out of town and our caregiver for the weekend (my aunt) simply told her "you are done with diapers." And it worked!!! Keep in mind, since she was older she was able to understand what that meant.
Another piece of advice that I received from a reliable source was to put the potty chair away for a few weeks, re-introduce it, and see how it goes. If said child is not interested, put it away for another couple of weeks.
At any rate, you will not have the first child in history to wear a diaper to his high school graduation so try and be patient - it will happen in due time.
Posted by: AJ | 2008.06.24 at 08:28
here's some motivation for him...aubriee says she'll be his boyfriend once he's potty trained :) (and yes, i agree with the 'boys are later than girls' theory, but aubriee hasn't started yet for the same reason as the binky post comment)
Posted by: trav | 2008.06.20 at 22:34
I think there is something to the being ready. My mom gives me the well you were trained by 18 mos, and I'm like yeah, but the older girl of the babysitter was being trained at the same time. Kind of like Michelle's situation once the see someone like them doing it they want to. I've been debating starting myself. Since she is starting to tell me when she needs changed. I have no real advice for you other than what my moms has told me, take a few days off and spend it working on the training. I've heard of potty parties too where you sit in the bathroom all day until it takes. I'm not sure about that one.
Posted by: Robyn | 2008.06.20 at 21:55
Maya is 22 months old, and wants to sit on it whenever she happens to walk by the bathroom. But that is about as far as her interest goes. If I try to sit her on it sans diaper, she gets pissed. So I don't push the issue. I guess when she is ready, I will see, and she will go. And that is that.
:o)
I bet that was a BIG help, huh? LOL
Posted by: Jen | 2008.06.20 at 10:46
I didn't even start trying until about 4 months before Colton's 3rd birthday. I was pretty lucky with him. We spent one whole weekend upstairs on the hardwood floor and went cold turkey. Took the diaper off, but underware on, made a big to do about it and just played and cleaned up pee for most of the weekend, but it worked.
It doesn't hurt to start trying, but at the same time you can't rush them and get them all freaked out. My two cents.
Posted by: Leah | 2008.06.20 at 09:30
Wonderful topic!
As we speak I have one 2 year old who is in the process of potty training. She will be 3 in Oct. She wears underpants during the day and a pull up at night. I have another 2 year old who will tell me that he is going "poo poos" in his diaper and run from the bathroom crying at the mention of sitting on potty. In my mind that just proves that each child is completely different and there is no "right" age for that. I think that with most things I guess. Having more than one at a time has really proved that they will do things when they are ready no matter what.
I also have a 4 year old (5 in aug) who is totally trained but will willing go in his pants so he doesn't take time away from playing. ARGG! He also is still in a pullup at night which drives me nuts but I am trying to be patient. They say boys are much different than girls (another generilzation) but he is such a heavy sleeper that he just has no idea.
You will not damage your child to suggest potty training when he is not ready. I think people get in trouble when they demand it from their child. Good luck to you. I have no idea how it must be to try and be "consistant" when you are gone at work during the day.
Posted by: Kelly LaVigne | 2008.06.20 at 09:22
You are NOT wrong to wait until he is ready. My son was not trained until about a month before his third birthday and he will occasionally still have accidents at night.
When he is ready, there will still be issues. What worked for us won't work for everyone, but we gave Boy Pop a quarter for every time he peed in the potty and two quarters for every time he pooped in the potty. He loves change and putting it in his piggy bank, so that worked like a charm.
Boy Pop treated his potty chair like a toy, so we quickly got rid of it. He stradled the big toilet and peed sitting down for a long time, but now he stands.
If you are stressed out about it, Tucker will be, too. Don't let anyone force you to do something you know your child isn't ready for as no one knows your child better than you.
Good luck and relax! :)
Posted by: Mrs Pop | 2008.06.20 at 09:07
I have no insights since I haven't had to tackle with this one yet in my motherhood dealings. But I do like hearing others' thoughts, as this issue will come up for me before I know it! Good luck!
Posted by: anne | 2008.06.19 at 20:59
GOOD LUCK! I hear it is a difficult process and works best when the child is ready.
I have a TFT too! I am just a little late.
Posted by: Denise H. | 2008.06.19 at 12:43
i had a 3 1/2 year old who refused to potty train until RIGHT THEN. seriously. and then when he's ready, just give him his favorite reward. with james, we just bought some thomas trains and when he went potty, he got a piece. it worked like a charm. it will work for you. and don't stress about it. :) i hated when he WAS potty trained because we had to STOP when we went EVERYWHERE. at least boys are easier, you can stop alongside the road!!!
Posted by: Jessica | 2008.06.19 at 11:49
Savannah was about 27 months when she was pottytrained. We started right after her 2nd birthday (because I wanted to have potty training done and well established before the birth of the second!!) and it was tough going at first. It was a lot of struggles and pushing and fighting about it. I kind of eased up for awhile and then made a big push that summer once again and it seemed to click a lot better. She was completely daytime dry consistently by the end of that summer (28 months).
Sawyer (at 31 months) is just recently starting to really "get it". For a long time we've been having him go before naps, before bath, bed, etc and even every time we changed him. He actually "goes" almost every time now and I think has pretty good control. He loves to wear underwear and if we're at home and I remember to remind him every 20 min or so, he can stay dry pretty much all day. He's not yet initiating it himself though... if I don't tell him it's time to go he won't think about it and if it's been too long he'll have an accident. He's to the point now that he hates having wet pants (before it didn't even phase him if he peed in his underwear) and a few times he's even started to wet and then caught himself and run in the bathroom. So the control is coming... he just isn't making that connection ahead of time yet.
At this point sometimes I feel like I'm just being lazy... that if I really buckled down he could be totally pottytrained. But I keep going back to the fact that he's not letting me know ever if he feels he has to go, so really if he were potty trained now it would really be me that was trained... to take him in every so often. So I'm not worrying about it. Pretty much if we're at home and have a few hours in a row to devote to it, I put him in underwear and help him with reminders and prompt him to think about whether he has to go pee-pee or not. If I'm too busy to worry about it, I don't. He's got the basics down and it'll all click one of these days I think.
In your shoes, I think I would wait a bit until he's showing more signs of being ready/interested for himself. Keep encouraging it, give him the option whenever possible, but don't push it. When you think he's ready or you want to experiment and see what would happen if you took the plunge, take a long weekend from work and stick home and work on it for a few days. For them at this age it really is a practice, trial and error thing. Some kids just click with it (usually older) and some kids can get it but it just takes consistency and practice for them.
p.s. With Savannah we used m&m's for potty treats... whenever she went she got one (or two for #2!!). Sawyer doesn't like candy so I made up a chart for him, he got to pick a stamp from the store and every time he went he got to stamp the chart and get a stamp on his hand. He loved it. Eventually I started keeping track on the chart and when he did a whole 7 times, or 10 times or something, he got to take his chart to the store and pick out one toy. Our next step (when I really make the commitment to get this all overwith) will be to stay dry for consecutive whole days and then he'll be able to take that chart to the store to trade for something.
Posted by: heather | 2008.06.19 at 11:42
Hey Jenny, Annika will be 3 in a month and we have been potty training for a good 6 months. Right before Bennett was born, she was potty trained. Then Bennett came and consistency went out the window, well so did her potty training. Just recently, as in last week she decided to start again. SHE decided, not me and she's been out of diapers ever since. Of course she has the occasional accident, but within the last week, she's gone from me telling her to go sit and pee, to her just going in there on her own to pee. She's still afraid of store potties though, so I use a pull up when we are out. But, I am a firm believer that the kid will decide and every child is diff. Bianca on the other hand is 18 months and is showing immense interest in potty training. She loves the potty, so next month, I'm starting with her. We'll see where it takes us, she's in charge though. I wouldn't push, or feel like a failure if it doesn't work. Look at us, Annika is nearly three, heading to preschool in the fall and I thought she'd never be trained. But, once again, she surprised me.
Posted by: Michelle | 2008.06.19 at 09:51